...nod my head,
go on with life
leave much unsaid
I worry about "appropriate"
and polite society,
I make a god impression
So eager to please.
I act like I believe
the bullshit of this life,
For who would want this pain?
This agony? This strife?
What's going on inside?
Who's behind the mask?
I don't know anymore
and I'm not up to the task.
For I've dosed myself with poison
I've taken novacaine.
I reserve one feeling for myself,
And always it's disdain.
Where is that fiery passion?
What happened in my head?
Where'd I take a detour?
And allow myself to be lead?
I don't know this person,
Her insides never match,
Feelings sometimes register,
but never have a chance.
Because it's rarely safe
To be in my moment,
I lock it all out,
and live in torment.
Bottled up so tight,
afraid I might explode.
I'm locked down, air tight,
and I've throw away the code.
I want what's on my outside
to reflect the inner me.
To be liberated.
To let these feelings free.
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